This is Body Grief

Coming Spring 2025!

I went from scheduling meetings with editors, that represented amazingly beautiful both independent and BIG time publishing houses, to getting my uterus removed, to then experiencing an immense amount of my own Body Grief along with celebrating a MASSIVE book deal, all within 7 days!

Talk about living AND… as I relay this story to you, I am cautious because it sounds like I am right back in the hustle and grind. It sounds like I am once again caught up in the capitalist mindset of setting aside my health, soul and values and putting work and money first. But this is not that story. That was Jayne at the very beginning of her Body Grief journey.

I have never felt more in my purpose than I do right now. The Body Grief work continues.

I sat in front of eight different publishing houses, along with my wonderful literary agents by my side (via computer) the entire time, as intimate stories of Body Grief were shared in each and every one of those meetings. Tears were shed, laughs were had, Body Grief; the deep sorrow and loss that is felt from living in our bodies was felt by everyone, a sense of interconnectedness. That is why I wrote my proposal with the help from my book Doula Ruby Warrington, to give others the language to move through their grief.

Just a week prior I had an applicant from my nonprofit The AND Initiative pick up her Rollator from ByAcre to help her live her AND life within her disability and chronic illness. The applicant was not yet ready to be photographed, as this is a very common phenomenon in young people in need of mobility aids due to internalized ableism, and Body Grief. Again, a calling to my purpose. I was in my purpose. That is one more reason why I am continuing to educate, speak, and talk about Body Grief, because it shows up all of the time, and we were never given the language or the skills to cope with this grief.

I will never remember the interview process as icky or slimy, because it wasn’t. It felt connected to my mission, to my purpose, to my soul. It was after my total hysterectomy that I had the meetings with some of the biggest publishing houses in the world. Jayne 4 years ago would have shown up and pretended everything was fine, she wouldn’t have mentioned her surgery, she would have pushed through, dismissed her pain. 31 year old Jayne, who has become a frequent flyer within these medical situations, if you will, has started to figure it out. 14 brain and spine surgeries later, and a hysterectomy a la carte, I think I got it down pat by now.

“Show up as you are, be honest, be authentic, if they don’t like you, then they aren’t a good fit.”

And that is exactly what I did. See, it turns out I had extensive early stages of endometriosis, fibroids, cancerous and pre cancerous polyps and polycystic ovaries so my surgeon removed everything, ovaries and all. I actually felt MUCH BETTER post surgery, but damn those hot flashes were no joke, and the brain fog was a bit embarrassing to say the least.

But I owned it! Literally, half way through a sentence I took off my top layer, a duster of some sort, and said “I am having some post surgery fog, I have no clue what I was going to say, talk about Body Grief right?” We all giggled, and moved on. I took a sip of coffee, took a deep breath and thought, “these are my people.” I felt safe, I felt confident, this book was mine, this idea was mine, this language was mine, this story was mine, this experience was everyones, we are all connected through Body Grief. I can’t wait to give the rest to everyone. I had been working with Body Grief, researching, training others, and living with Body Grief for years now, and it is now time to share it with the world.

This is Body Grief, coming Spring of 2025 published by Penguin Random House with Folio Literary Agency.

This Is Body Grief

The universal experience of disillusionment, sorrow, and loss that comes with simply existing in a body.

From a rise in chronic illnesses, to increased incidents of addiction, eating disorders, and self-harm,

to growing gender dysphoria, to discrimination against bodies deemed “other” in a racist, sexist,

and ableist society, it has never been harder to feel at home in one’s body.

It’s no wonder that our world is awash with unprocessed “Body Grief".

We experience Body Grief each time our body gets sick; every time we feel betrayed by our body;

and in the moment we realize how little control we have over our biology.

We grapple with Body Grief with the changing of our bodies; with each loss of bodily autonomy;

and each time our body fails to live up to the airbrushed standards of our social-media saturated world.

Stay Tuned for the Body Grief Podcast coming to you this Summer!