Oof, this one hit home. I have had an undiagnosed lung condition for over 6 years now, which comes with a chronic, persistent cough that makes SO many people uncomfortable. I work in circles that overlap with lots of new age folks, & in my experience, the ableism & unsolicited advice can be the worst in that world. Because there’s this undercurrent of belief that EVERYTHING is ultimately mind over matter, not only do I get truly wacky (and often prohibitively expensive) suggestions for diets and remedies, I ALSO get a healthy dose of judgement that clearly I just haven’t fully committed to my own healing, because if I had, I’d be fine by now.
I know better now, but I spent several years blaming myself for my illness, because obviously if I believed hard enough, & tried hard enough, & figured out how to manifest more financial abundance to see this specialist or that alternative medicine practitioner, I’d just get better.
So true. So true. People seem to give simplistic advice when not asked for. Or they ignore/minimize the physical challenges I have. I just found you via Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper. I’m so sorry you struggle with so much. I’m thankful you are sharing. I don’t feel so alone or as if I’m making mountains out of molehills with my own physical struggles.
I recently went to see another doctor ( after being so frustrated with the previous one). Oh my ! What a difference! He actually made eye contact, listened , validated , explained everything and said he was impressed with how I’ve managed. I felt hopeful but mostly felt seen. My new doctor could not offer anything new to help me. Instead validated what I’m already doing. And offered to see me anytime I needed him.
I tried to tell my current psychotherapist who is usually wonderful but in this instance , completely minimized my physical challenges which makes me so anxious. After reading your posts , I get it. It’s about her own fears and frustrations. She was not able to “see me” in this situation.
Thank you for your unapologetic words and insight into your reality. Everyone wants to make it about them. I was just about to start typing to tell you about how I am both able-bodied and not able-bodied in different ways yadda yadda. Then I said to myself "don't do that, it's not about me!" I'm learning and interested and will keep reading.
Oof, this one hit home. I have had an undiagnosed lung condition for over 6 years now, which comes with a chronic, persistent cough that makes SO many people uncomfortable. I work in circles that overlap with lots of new age folks, & in my experience, the ableism & unsolicited advice can be the worst in that world. Because there’s this undercurrent of belief that EVERYTHING is ultimately mind over matter, not only do I get truly wacky (and often prohibitively expensive) suggestions for diets and remedies, I ALSO get a healthy dose of judgement that clearly I just haven’t fully committed to my own healing, because if I had, I’d be fine by now.
I know better now, but I spent several years blaming myself for my illness, because obviously if I believed hard enough, & tried hard enough, & figured out how to manifest more financial abundance to see this specialist or that alternative medicine practitioner, I’d just get better.
I am so glad that this post resonated with you, and I am also so very sorry. You are not to blame, fuck fault right!? You have a safe space here!
So true. So true. People seem to give simplistic advice when not asked for. Or they ignore/minimize the physical challenges I have. I just found you via Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper. I’m so sorry you struggle with so much. I’m thankful you are sharing. I don’t feel so alone or as if I’m making mountains out of molehills with my own physical struggles.
I recently went to see another doctor ( after being so frustrated with the previous one). Oh my ! What a difference! He actually made eye contact, listened , validated , explained everything and said he was impressed with how I’ve managed. I felt hopeful but mostly felt seen. My new doctor could not offer anything new to help me. Instead validated what I’m already doing. And offered to see me anytime I needed him.
I tried to tell my current psychotherapist who is usually wonderful but in this instance , completely minimized my physical challenges which makes me so anxious. After reading your posts , I get it. It’s about her own fears and frustrations. She was not able to “see me” in this situation.
Thank you.
Thank you for your unapologetic words and insight into your reality. Everyone wants to make it about them. I was just about to start typing to tell you about how I am both able-bodied and not able-bodied in different ways yadda yadda. Then I said to myself "don't do that, it's not about me!" I'm learning and interested and will keep reading.